Butterflies and Rocks

How do we decide what standards we keep? What exactly is it that is so bad about tea and coffee? What about the caffeine in chocolate? How late is too late to be out alone with a boy? How do you decide which activities are Sunday appropriate? Even in intending to do the right thing, sometimes I'll make mistakes without even realizing it. I'll just be going along with my life, and it isn't till someone points out later exactly what I did that I'll realize it was a bad situation. I've always been told to avoid situations that involve drugs and drinking, and so far I've done pretty well. But it can be awkward when people I know are off drinking and smoking, and they call up the people I'm hanging out with and tell them to come over, but my friends say they can't, because they're hanging out with me, and I don't want to go. Then all of a sudden I'm the bad guy, and what kind of intolerant, self-righteous snob am I, that I won't even be in the same room as them. They probably don't actually think that most of the time, but I can't help considering it. I just keep telling myself that really, my friends were telling the truth in that I didn't want to go over, and it does make a good excuse for them. By blaming me for it, they avoid conflict with their other friends.

I don't have all of the same standards as I used to, and I wonder sometimes what people think when they see I've changed them. Do they see my standards as silly fancies, but think that at some point I'll come to terms with the real world and abandon them? Or do they respect me for having standards that I keep, and feel disappointed when they see I'm not always immovable? I've had it suggested to me that sometimes the very people that are ridiculing us for the things we do and don't do are really rather envious that we have the conviction to stand up for the things we believe in, and many of them wish they could have standards of their own that they were willing to keep.