Thursday I had a mythology test to study for. Originally, I thought I had to take it that day, and so planned on having 4 hours to study, and then at 6 would go take the test. On closer examination, I realized it would actually be in the testing center until Friday, and suddenly it became almost impossible to study. I work far more efficiently under pressure. Given an open ended deadline a paper might take me 4 or 5 hours to write, but put me right up against a deadline and I'll write the same paper in under 2 hours.
Its frustrating to me, because I'll sit down to do my homework, and everything will distract me. I'll stop to check my email, or comment on a blog. I'll reorganize my songs on itunes, or wander into the kitchen for a snack. And I know that I'm capable of focusing. I know that as soon as I've squandered my time and i'm on bordering on not enough time, suddenly I'll snap into the right mode and blaze through. If only there was some way of triggering that kind of focus before its almost too late. If I could focus through those long boring afternoons instead of having to hide from friends and stay up to the wee hours of the morning because I did nothing all afternoon.
I'm almost afraid to say it for fear of being stoned, but I tend to be one of those people that everyone hates, because I put all my work off till the very last minute, scramble to throw it all together, and still get and 'A'. I've often half wished that one of these times I'd get back an assignment and find that I'd failed in a most spectacular manner. I harbor a kind of secret hope that if this were to happen, it might shock me into doing my work ahead of time. Unfortunately for me, it hasn't yet happened. So far all that's happened is I've learned to deal with stress more successfully.
And thus we see how my life will be nothing more than a brilliant blaze of glory rapidly extinguished to the very ordinary by its very own doing.
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4 comments:
This sounds like me and papers. I usually wait till the day before, no matter how long they are, and still do well on them...that is, until two days ago. But I'm not sure if that's because I rushed it or because I didn't understand the assignment. Thankfully it wasn't graded, and instead I only had to deal with my teacher's unfortunate comments.
well failing a teegarden test doesn't count. teegarden doesn't really care. now while i may hate you jenny i did beat you at that one ritter paper freshman year. but evne i can usually pull off decent grades. just not in cannon... atleast not at 4 am...
and seeing as i hate you so much i feel the need to not call you by your name oh jeniakai of mine. :)
well this is true. i really should've let him write my papers. that conrade i know what i should've done. "kurtz as a jesus figure, prompt numba 4!" instant A. and i even read heart of darkness
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