Do they really make opera ringtones?

I've come to a decision. English research is even more long winded than psychology research reports. Where psychologists average 20+ pages of dense technical jargon, Englishists (?) are easily at 30. They just keep going and going and going and going and pink bunny and going and going... Who honestly has time to read all of that? I certainly don't, especially over Thanksgiving. Sometimes I think the only reason scholarly journals exist is so that college students have something to feverishly skim, garble up, and spew back to the professors. It's a good thing the library has one of those handy dandy giant staplers for all your 150 page document needs.

I've been talking to people lately. Not sure how I feel about that.

I spent over half an hour in the psychology department offices waiting to get my paper back so that I can revise it in time for the final draft. Finally, the girl who's paper was so good she got excellent marks from the hardest grader and absolutely nothing marked for revision but was still so paranoid and overacheiverly (and who refused to engage in conversation with me) that she had come in and talked to the TA for over half an hour, realized that I was still waiting, and graciously gave me the ten seconds I needed to get my paper from the TA, say thank you, and leave. On the other hand, all that time I spent waiting gave me some excellent insight into the plans for redecorating the psych offices for the holiday season, and I got to be an eye-witness to the rearrangement of all the furniture in the reception area. Heck, I even got to help move a table.

Truly, there is more than one way to skin a cat. This has been proven time and again in everything from getting to the airport to finding the full text of "Chaos and Pattern in Ellison's Invisible Man."

Technology is wonderful. I found all the articles I needed for my English paper without ever cracking a book, without ever going down to the periodicals section. It really has done some horrible things to people in terms of expectancy and being lazy. It used to be if you had a question, you had to take a bus downtown to the library, and go through card catalogue in hopes that they had a book on the subject. And then, providing of course that the book was not checked out or misplaced, you would sit down at a desk in the dusty lighting and begin reading. Now, if my internet connection takes more than 10 seconds to load a page while I sit in comfort on my bed in my apartment, I start thinking something's wrong, and unleash angry mental tirades at the incompetence of the wireless connection of my complex. It's no wonder that with all of our fantastic time and labor saving devices, people are spending more and more time working. Gone are the days when everyone was home from work at 5 and had every Saturday off. Each invention saves us hours of tedium, but the pace of life is increasing at such a rate that our schedules hardly feel the difference.

Can I please just be so intelligent and witty that everyone loves to hear my opinion and I get paid for writing whatever I want? Honestly, that's all I want, is that really too much to ask?