Brainwaves from the telly

I've come to a new revelation of myself. When I watch movies my guard is way down.

It's been somewhat upsetting to me that for the past couple of weeks I've never been comfortable with people. I'm hyper-sensitive to the way people around me are reacting, whether they're laughing, or responding, or just zoning out, and then analyzing my conversation, tone, etc. Even when I can tell that the other person is genuinely into the conversation, and we're laughing along, I frequently feel detached. And quite frankly, I don't much like what I see. When my guard is up, I tend to be very reserved, and condescending in comments, and I laugh less (which is a definite problem, as there are few things as useful as laughter in putting people at their ease and making friends). I also have been doing very poorly at balancing my conversations between listening and speaking.

However. Movies appear to be a completely different story. As long as I'm not in extreme discomfort with my situation and companions, movies totally draw me out. I'm a very eager participant in the "willing suspension of disbelief." I get really involved in a good movie, and tend to laugh, comment, ooh, ahh, and gesture quite readily in response to the characters on the screen--something I'm less likely to do when faced with people in real life. So if I can only learn to engage other people the way I engage movies, and overcome that tendency to freeze up and sensor everything, perhaps I may find my conversations more comfortable and more fulfilling.

And people worry that televisions will turn our brains to mush.