I'm black not

Today I went to the Creamery for black nail polish. I'm not entirely sure why, but I really just wanted black nails. Must be my rebellious streak coming out. I spent quite a bit of time in contemplation. Painting my nails black actually slightly frightens me. I needn't have worried though. The Creamery doesn't sell black nail polish. I should have known better. They don't sell green either. Just softly blushing feminine shades of pink, purple, and clear.

The reason I don't buy things like Thin Mints is that then I just sit here and eat the whole box uncontrollably.

I'm avoiding homework. Again. I did my philosophy. I'm all caught up on that. It's just this American Literature class. I have three days of reading to catch up on and a paper to write. I think I'm going to go with the "cultural encounters" prompt. I think I'll be ready for summer break. It's like, I know I could keep going with school, but I'd rather get so sick of leisure time that I'm craving something with a point.

I'm supposed to name a rat. It's a girl and its brown. Suggestions?

Eric from Hawaii gives me advice on my life. We've had four chats, and so far he's called me a schmuck, naive, irrational, kicked my foot, shoved my knee, and mostly solved my life. He gives fantastic advice. His methods are just a little different than I was expecting. If anyone were going to talk to Eric, I'd say ask about 1) happy and delusional, 2) the ABC's, 3) trust, and 4) soccer. And in addition to life advice, Eric just gave me basic defense soccer pointers. Can I just say I'm really proud of Eric?

I can't remember if I had something to put in this space or not.

I've always been pretty mature for my age. That's why skipping grades worked for me. But sometimes I still feel more mature than the people around me who are older. And maybe it's just really easy to see their flaws while being blind to mine, but it seems a little ridiculous. What really bothers me the most is when people are selfish and think only about themselves. They don't bother considering what's best for other people, or being considerate of the commitments other people have. They just want the attention to be on them, and their desires to be instantly gratified. They're needy and pushy and rude. To my wonderful friends who think of others as well as themselves, thank you.

Pushy people have always been a particularly problematic group for me. I've always been a quieter person, more prone to stand back rather than impose myself on others. I never wanted to be rude or needy. Unfortunately, this makes it rather difficult to get your own needs and wants met. The squeaky wheel gets the grease. My older sister's a bit more of the proactive, take-charge kind of person. And as a kid, I always followed her lead with silent resentment. She was, after all, generally in charge of us younger kids. But because of that, I tend to have bad passive agressive reactions to anyone like that. (Being passive agressive, btw, is also not helpful. But that's another story). I've discovered that just about the only way to compete with attention grabbing behavior is to match it. If I'm just as demanding, I don't get shunted to the side as much. But see, I find that behavior highly annoying, and I can only assume other people do as well, and I don't want to be annoying. How, then, do I manage to integrate myself into the action of the group without succumbing to the behavior I detest?

I've decided I ought to show my appreciation of people more. People do things all the time that I really admire. I love getting compliments (makes me go all glowy :p) why shouldn't they?

I guess the only thing left to say then, is, lookout rival soccer people! And I hope peach jello tastes good with bananas.