The future freaks me out. A lot.

Simply stated, this is post 100. The triple digit. A mile marker. A pause for reflection.

Up to this morning, I was unsure about my desire to return to school. Having bought my plane ticket a week ago and talked to various people about returning for fall semester, I have had to face the fact that in only a few weeks, I would indeed be back on campus, walking to classes, studying, and overall just facing life again. I spent this morning reviewing my schedule. I didn't really think it through that well when I signed up for classes. I was already late signing up, so I just sort of grabbed things that seemed to fulfill requirements. I thought more about it this morning, looked at how many credits I have, what classes I've already taken, what I still need to graduate, and which teachers would most likely be good to take. And then I thought more seriously about where I'm going.

Since starting college two years ago, I've switched majors several times. I'm currently majoring in English, and things seem to be going okay. I'm not too far behind where I theoretically should have been had I immediately started out in English. Well, give or take 2 or 3 classes. But I'm doing okay. If I take enough credits a semester, and maybe stay again for spring and summer, I ought to be able to graduate in a timely fashion. Unfortunately for me, life does not manage to be that simple. There are a number of classes in the English department that I do not need to take to graduate, but which look so interesting I don't know how I'm going to resist. Of course, most of them would count towards those 12 elective credits I need to take. Unfortunately, the list of classes I just have to take far exceeds the necessary 12 credits. Of course, if I'm planning on some type of career involving a background in English, why not take all the classes I can from professors far more knowledgeable about the subject than myself? And people are always telling me that college is a place to expand your horizons and enrich your life. I might even be willing to stick around a little longer to take some of these classes.

The trouble is, I don't really know what I want to do once I graduate. I've considered being a writer, working in a publishing house, editing, writing for a magazine or newspaper, or maybe even going to law school. Accordingly, I'm taking all the writing and editing classes I can get my hands on and taking persuasive writing to try and hone those analytical, argumentative mental faculties. I think it could work. Unfortunately, the fact that I'd like to consider a study abroad program is doing nothing to help my attempts to graduate. And frankly, it really seems like a shame that in focusing so much on literature and communication skills, I completely ignore all of the science and life classes. Oh sure, I took what was required for the General Education requirements, but lets face it, those classes barely skim the surface of introduction application theory. All appearances to the contrary, I really do like those classes. And to be quite honest, the medical field still holds a bit of appeal for me.

I think I could be a doctor. I think I might even like being a doctor. And I'd like to at least explore the option. I even looked up the recommended pre-med classes today, so I could keep my options open. Several hours later, and I still haven't rejected the possibility of curling up in a little ball of doom and gloom. If I was really serious about the medical thing, I should have been planning for it from the start. There's a lot of classes that I'd have to take, and none of them go along with my major. Luckily, in my haphazard journey through multiple majors my first couple of years, I managed to unwittingly fill much of the math, physics, and humanities requirements. This leaves the biology and chemistry requirements, and I have no idea how I can possibly fit them all into my schedule with my major requirements.

I have never been to the advisement center for advice on what classes to take. I'm fairly independent in that category. However, I'm really considering it for this pre-med stuff. At least they could tell me when the best time to take the classes are. If they recommend taking the MCATs during your junior year, does that mean you don't have to take any pre-med classes during senior year, in which case I should focus on getting through the pre-med classes early, and leave senior year for my major. In any case, I'm getting a little anxious to get back to school. There's a lot of people I'd like to talk to about my future, and seeing as most of the classes I now want are full, my schedule will not be finalized until I can show up with an add/drop card.

Perhaps you wonder why I bother so much with this alternative career option when I like English so much. I, too, have wondered this. I must admit that there is a part of me that does not feel English related fields are a really -- fulfilling -- career. It just doesn't seem to be worth much. Oh sure, you bring enjoyment and pleasure to many people, but in the end, what difference have you made? But medicine -- that makes a difference. I don't know, just something to think about.